Unclutterer Forums » Topic: Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?

Unclutterer Forums » Topic: Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself? http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself The community for people interested in home and office organizing. en-US Tue, 14 Feb 2012 03:11:46 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://unclutterer.com/discuss/search.php LilyX on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/3#post-7777 Sat, 17 Jul 2010 13:28:27 +0000 LilyX 7777@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ So sorry about your BF! Hope he'll recover soon. You are quite right in your view of Europe - every country has its own traditional cuisine and people prepare their own meals, at least when there's time. Oh, I can understand your worries about your cat... I was worried about mine when I moved within the same town. :-) djk on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7773 Sat, 17 Jul 2010 11:27:39 +0000 djk 7773@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ @suzjazz, I am so sorry to hear about your BF. I wish him recovery to good health! and btw, there are wonderful doctors in Europe, often with far more openness to holistic medicine and TCM, and prevention as a way of life is highly important (e.g. in Austria, doctors prescribe spa cures regularly) My S-in-L is a medical doctor as well as a doctor of TCM (went to China to qualify after her European studies) The facilities are older and uglier than what I am used to in Canada, but if you can get past that, the quality of care is high. as for the 4-footed family members, they can be shipped with minimum of trauma-- my kitty got sent to me as a surprise; there are good companies that specialize in pet transport. So who knows? Some day we could meet here--I will come to your gigs! suzjazz on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7760 Fri, 16 Jul 2010 23:28:57 +0000 suzjazz 7760@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ Thanks for the info Lily! The sad truth appears to be that unless you are a famous concert artist you will make next to no money performing, no matter where you live. Even though Europeans appreciate free jazz (and art in general) more than Americans do, they aren't willing to pay artists higher wages than in the U.S. If I moved to Europe, I would need a day job which would probably involve teaching music since that is the only thing I am really qualified to do. Teaching doesn't pay well either, even on the college level. So I have resigned myself to a frugal life of near-poverty (which would be no different from what I have now here in the U.S.) if I move to Europe. At least I would have single payer health care and long vacations--at least once I live there long enough to establish residency. And people in Europe know what socialism is, don't believe it is evil, and know that Obama is no socialist! They insist on no hormones in their meat and dairy products and do not rely on processed foods. They take their time cooking and enjoying their meals. They ride their bicycles! All of these things appeal to me. Getting rid of most of my stuff will make the eventual move easier. The two big impediments to a permanent move are my BF (has cancer and needs to be near his doctors unless they can refer him to some good ones in Europe) and my cat, who would have to come with us, which would be very traumatic for him. But obstacles can be overcome! LilyX on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7522 Sat, 10 Jul 2010 09:00:13 +0000 LilyX 7522@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ Hello everybody! What did I learn from my decluttering? I'd say: that I have good taste and I want the best for me. :-) I'm not into expensive designer s*it but I like nice, quality clothes. Years ago I tended to buy rarely but spend more carelessly (I was in University so I had no financial concerns). Well, guess what - the clothes I bought back then are among the best in my closet and I still keep them dear. I had a period when I used to buy lots of clothes without being ever satisfied, cheap clothes especially. I wanted more variety and I thought I had to find my own style, not realising I already had one to work on. I have parted with most of the cheap stuff from my "overbuyer" period and nowadays, even if I have to be more careful with spending, I try to buy good quality. I know it repays me, not only with clothes. Suzjazz, don't move to Italy please. It's a very bad moment now, economically speaking - especially if you work (or want to work) in the art/culture field. If you manage to find paid work, you'll be still terribly underpaid 'cause intellectual work is not regarded as "real", productive work (unless you're on TV). I guess it's different in France where the culture scene seems to be livelier and valued more. lucy1965 on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7477 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 15:38:20 +0000 lucy1965 7477@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ @suzjazz I've found that I'm willing to give up a tremendous amount in the way of convenience and living space to have my friends in my life on a daily basis; I really like the phrase I've read here: "When you look at anything, ask yourself what it adds to your life as it is now." There's nothing inanimate here I wouldn't give up to spend the day with A. walking on the beach near Brighton Pier, or poking through Cambridge bookshops with M., or getting magnificently tipsy with O. while our husbands look on in wonder and fear . . . . Thank you for what you've written, and I hope that you also find a way back. Gil on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7408 Wed, 07 Jul 2010 15:14:48 +0000 Gil 7408@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ Anita wrote: " It's also making me less tolerant of other people's messes, especially the messes that others make in my home." ___________________________________________________ Ha Ha..Truer words couldn't have been spoken. I never thought my own mother would hound me about being a neat freak, lol. Gil on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7407 Wed, 07 Jul 2010 15:11:59 +0000 Gil 7407@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ Quality over quantity. I am enjoying the few things I have elected to keep and they are actually being used or worn instead of being buried under other things. As an example, I sold about 80-90% of my video game collection which consisted of 10 consoles and countless games. I am now down to one console and 15 games. I jokingly stated on a gaming forum that they would have to bury me with my collection, lol. I was that obsessed. Like some others have stated, I have also broken with being sentimental about everything. My decluttering has been a gradual process. Things I swore I would never give up are gone and I don't miss them. There are items I will never part with, but if a storm or other calamity damaged my home and took them, I wouldn't be upset as I would have even a year ago. Plus, letting go of stuff has opened up my spirt of giving. I feel happy that someone else can use and enjoy what I no longer want. Plus, I could care less if I ever get another material gift again. Seriously. I am also much more punctual by being orderly, having less and not as stressed. Letting go of possessions has not only forced me to focus on my priorities, but personally, I have matured a lot during the process. Many of the things I held onto actually held me back in many ways. In closing, I have ultimately learned that more stuff does NOT mean more happiness and there is SO much more to life than things. In reality, I have found new freedom and purpose in life. Anita on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7390 Wed, 07 Jul 2010 08:30:17 +0000 Anita 7390@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ For me, the good came with the bad. On the GOOD side, I realised I don't need a lot of space to live happily, and that it's more important to have a balance between the space you need and the space you're willing to keep clean than to have as much room as possible to house your stuff. I also realised that something being cute is not reason enough to buy it or keep it if I have absolutely no use for it; that's also helped me have more appreciation for the things I do have a use for and a genuine attachment to. On the BAD side, however, uncluttering is sort of becoming its own goal instead of being a means to an end (being happy in my space), so I'm trying to keep that in check. It's also making me less tolerant of other people's messes, especially the messes that others make in my home. I live in a little bachelor apartment and my boyfriend occasionally stays over. A few weeks ago he lent his apartment to a friend who was moving into town and asked to stay over for a few days while she figured out her own housing situation. He was at my place for about a week. He's usually reasonably tidy and organised, but this was a hectic week for both of us, on top of which my little apartment doesn't quite have enough storage to accommodate my stuff plus a week's worth of his, so things got a bit out of hand, which drove me nuts and led to a few arguments. Now we have plans to move in together in 2-3 months, and I'm half-excited and half-dreading it... bandicoot on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7389 Wed, 07 Jul 2010 08:13:00 +0000 bandicoot 7389@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ that is hilarious and weird. i am the opposite. the happier i am, the cleaner and more orderly things are. or perhaps, the more order and cleanliness i am surrounded by, the happier i am? hard to say, really. right now, i am staying in a little cottage in france. it is stuffed full of tchotchkes! it is waaaaaaaaaaaay waaaaaaaaay waaaaaaaaaaaaaay over my clutter limit! i have tidied things to one side and i feel like there is more space.....but it has put me off checking out any brocantes (flea markets) and soldes (the sales)! and i have been surrounded by brocantes and soldes for days and days. we spent two days in troyes, which is where the whole of france comes for clearance shopping, seriously they have these enormous factory outlet stores......and i bought an apron. one apron, which will take the place of one of my ruined ten year old aprons at home. djk on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7387 Wed, 07 Jul 2010 07:46:18 +0000 djk 7387@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ I also realize that it is more difficult for me to be orderly when I am relaxed and happy. If I am at all stressed I clean like a madwoman and develop a fierce policy to anything out of place or crooked, or crumbs in the sink (hate that)etc. In university I lived in a gleam of polish. My first marriage--spotless. However, the happier and more relaxed my life gets the messier my home gets. I am very happy right now--and I have to learn to clean when I am happy, I guess! On the plus side, being a control freak my whole life has taught me many techniques that are long-time habits so there isn't too much to do in the grand scheme of things I guess. Damn that happy life. Damn! djk on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7383 Wed, 07 Jul 2010 07:12:18 +0000 djk 7383@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ I don't hoard or have clutter as defined as not-useful-space-takers, but my increasingly smaller living spaces mean that I rethink everything we have, and demand more function out of everything we have. What I have learned about myself: I was afraid I would be punished by the gods of Nice People who say that One Must Keep Things From The Past. I somehow envision gentle shock and so feel guilted into keeping things because other people would. So I have become aware that it is MY stuff and therefore I have full rights over what I get rid of, and the earth doesn't break apart in horror. I held on to things that other people consider important (yearbook, for example) and thought that I wasn't "allowed" to throw it away. Well, I had one small box with sentimental items held onto because somewhere in my head I thought I had to, or lightening would strike (or that I was a bad person for not caring. Now that is tosseed out and I feel pretty good about that. And I wonder whose permission I was waiting for to get rid of those things. My own, I guess. I have one fat (2" thick) file of letters from 3 different friends from over the years. They are all three gifted letter-writers and I simply cannot bring myself to throw these letters away, for the sheer joy and helpless laughter they have brought me over the years. So I guess that is my sentimental thing. And I will be buying a scanner this summer sometime so those letters can be scanned eventually. Then the binders of work documents can mostly be scanned as well, then the seasonally-assessed closet will be the last thing to winnow again and there will be no extra bits at all. Rosa on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7378 Tue, 06 Jul 2010 21:21:04 +0000 Rosa 7378@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ I've learned that I'm way better at starting things - books, projects, stories, letters - than finishing them. The other thing I've learned is that the layers of stuff never really end - at one point, I moved more than 10 times in 10 years, once by mail, twice with everything I "owned" in my car - but little did I realize, there was a bunch of my stuff stored at my mom's house. And now that I've been in this house for seven years, with various people using it as a homebase for their nomadism, it's astounding the amount of stuff they've forgotten about that I unearth and get rid of. chacha1 on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7369 Tue, 06 Jul 2010 15:02:22 +0000 chacha1 7369@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ Can't believe I didn't find this thread before. I'm like a lot of previous commenters, have become less sentimental and clingy about Stuff, more interested in having Space, and less inclined to Shop! That's not to say that I am a minimalist. I like to think I've found a happy medium between my hoarding grandmother and my biennial-turnover-of-decor mom. Boy, can that woman throw stuff out! I am aiming to slowly replace every not-optimal thing in our home with things that are perfect for us - and to achieve Net Loss of Stuff continuously until we are down to the things we truly need, use, and love. Thanks to the digital media revolution, I no longer feel compelled to keep physical media on the same scale. I have given away masses of stuff in the past eighteen months. I will feel I have really achieved something when I give away my last three pairs of non-dancing dress-up shoes. :-) SunshineR on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7350 Tue, 06 Jul 2010 03:05:03 +0000 SunshineR 7350@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ So true...I am the daughter of Depression-era children. Several people on Unclutterer have given excellent advice which inspires and encourages me. It is past time for me to lighten my load of clutter baggage because my parents passed away in 1986 and 1991; my first marriage ended in 1998 and I am still :(( emotionally buried in the leftovers. I am clearing out my house, selling it, moving in with BF and getting remarried (of course, to BF). :) A fresh start. Travel/moving overseas? I'd do it in a heartbeat if we weren't tied to BF's self-employment. He is not internet savvy and has no interest in learning e-commerce or leaving his repeat customer base. suzjazz on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7348 Tue, 06 Jul 2010 02:13:57 +0000 suzjazz 7348@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ Lucy, your post really resonated with me. While I do enjoy my yard (not so much my house: it is very old, inconvenient, and we don't have the money for upkeep, repairs, or remodeling) I also would like to leave the U.S., country of my birth. I have lived in France and Italy and would move to either country in a heartbeat if there was a job for me. A year ago I was in Paris (I am a jazz pianist, not famous so they didn't pay my airfare) performing, and I hoped that a trip would materialize this year, but it didn't. Now I am putting any extra money I earn in my savings account which I have re-named "my move to Europe" account. I don't know if I will be able to save enough money to do this--usually I end up having to spend at least part of my savings when I have no work--I teach part-time at a college and get no paycheck during breaks and holidays which can be for a month at a time. BF is on disability and ill, which is another impediment. If I were in my 20s or 30s I would go to Europe without a job and trust in my luck and sense of adventure. In my 50s, that isn't an option. My best hope is getting a teaching position in the abroad program, but it seems that things are on hold for $ reasons at my college. I hope you realize your dream. There are some great things in the U.S., but the quality of life is vastly better in Europe, especially if you are frugal. Ann on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7341 Mon, 05 Jul 2010 18:29:10 +0000 Ann 7341@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ As I read these posts I realize that so many of us were influenced by our depression era parents...my MIL was a hoarder of the very organized sort and was a saver of things because "you never know when you might need a part". One of my favorite stories about her is the time my husband and I stopped by her house to visit on the way to do errands. She asked where we were going and when we told her we were off to the hardware store to get a new showerhead, she ran to the garage and brought back a box with - I kid you not - over a dozen broken showerheads. It was surreal! So, I understand why so many of us have heard that mantra about "you never know when you might need XYZ"... LOL. And, now, since we have all grown up with so much more STUFF, it just gets ridiculous. I have discovered that I used the large closets and big storage areas in my house to avoid facing my poor purchasing decisions, to avoid dealing with loved ones' passing (I got their STUFF), to deny the reality of my son "leaving home" to go to college. lucy1965 on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7337 Mon, 05 Jul 2010 16:00:02 +0000 lucy1965 7337@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ In the last month, while my son has been on holiday with his partner, I've had space to realize a lot of things: I don't want a big house and a yard: the upkeep and repairs we've had to do over the last 10 years have convinced me that I never want to do this again. We don't entertain more than once a year (more on that later), so we have no need for a formal sitting room or dining room; we never actually DO anything in the yard, and I'm tired of shoveling walks in the winter and desperately fighting watering restrictions in the summer -- the original owner planted many fruit trees and grape vines, and all of the fruit is something I either dislike or am allergic to, but in this neighborhood it adds a tremendous amount to the character of the place -- it was terrific when our son was small and our house was the one every kid in the neighborhood came to, but he's a senior at university and will probably be moving out soon. Which brings us to -- I don't want to live in the US any more. I'll always respect the country of my birth, but our friends and a good job offer are waiting for us overseas. I've been a very responsible person since the age of 11 (family medical issues meant I shouldered caretaking early in my life), and I'm grateful for all I've learned from it, but now it's time for me to do what I want -- and what I want is time to explore the world with my husband, with enough work to keep us fed and sheltered. I'm looking at everything in the house with the thought of "Are you willing to pay to ship this across the pond?" and if the answer is "Nope", in many cases I've decided to get rid of it now rather than waiting another year. I've learned (with help from several people on this forum! *grin*) that it is okay to have one or two hobbies I love, and let all the rest of it go, "sunk costs" be damned. The second hobby may turn into a career if my teachers think it would be a good fit, and the first doesn't require as much space as I'd previously thought. Two or three beautiful things mean more to me than shelves full of tat: when I look at the blue matcha bowl my SIL brought me from Osaka, I remember her telling me how she had gone with friends to pick out the one that would be perfect for her "elder sister", and the day we spent in a local teahouse trying different blends until we found just the right one . . . there aren't many things I own that are that significant, and why would I put heaps of lesser things on the shelf with it? suzjazz on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7329 Mon, 05 Jul 2010 10:48:25 +0000 suzjazz 7329@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ I have discovered that 1) I have more objects of sentimental value than I thought (mostly things that belonged to my mother or that she gave me, like my two antique dolls and her exquisite water color and pen drawings) 2) it's a lot easier to get rid of non-sentimental clutter than I thought it would be, especially books that I know I will never read again. 3) I have accumulated SO MUCH STUFF. I always thought I didn't own much, since I am a musician and have had to live paycheck to paycheck my entire adult life, but that has not prevented me from accumulating enough stuff to spill over into my living space. We don't have an attic (good thing we don't) and we have a very damp basement in which you can't store anything of value unless it won't rust or get mildewed. For years, we rented a storage room which we finally emptied a few months ago. I was chagrined to discover that most of the stuff in the room was mine, not my BF's as I had assumed (he moved in with me almost 4 years ago and brought a lot of stuff with him) I am now tackling the seemingly endless task of getting rid of this stuff which I was obviously able to live without for several years. 4) I have cured myself of habitual shopping. (Well, almost.) I have come to detest shopping malls, and I am constantly amazed by how much ugly and tasteless junk masquerading as clothing and home decor is being pushed on an already debt-ridden public. I am proud of the fact that for years (with only a few exceptions) I have not carried a balance on my credit card--I now use it only for necessary purchases and pay it off in full each month. When I periodically weed out my closet, I realize that I can live with so much less clothing. I realized recently that BF has at least 5 outdoor parka-type jackets, and I am trying to gently bring this to his attention. Of course, I also have a large collection of coats which I am still trying to wean myself away from. It's a very long, but very satisfying process. jbeany on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-7325 Sun, 04 Jul 2010 22:55:50 +0000 jbeany 7325@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ I'm slowly learning to really look at my things. I think I stop seeing things because they have been in place for so long. They become background noise, and I don't realize that they are there. For example, I did a massive decluttering in my kitchen this spring. I emptied out several cupboards of things that haven't been used in a decade, including many wedding gifts that were never used at all. (I've no longer got the husband, surely I don't still need the gifts...) My kitchen counters then got cleared of clutter because there was room for the things on the counter to get put in the cupboards. I was down to a fire extinguisher, a handful of spices that live on the ledge by the stove, the toaster oven, the stand mixer, and a bowl of utensils and the knife block. I really, really loved the way it looked. Two weeks after the clear out, I was sitting at my computer desk in the kitchen admiring it. That's when it finally dawned on me that the knife block that has been with me since college contained 10 knives, and I only use 2 of them. I pulled the 2 knives out, put them in an empty slot in the silverware drawer, and added the knife block to the donate pile, knives and all. Since then, I've been trying to eyeball everything that I own, making sure it's not just something that's "always been there". Claycat on "Through decluttering, what have you found out about yourself?" http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/through-decluttering-what-have-you-found-out-about-yourself/page/2#post-2736 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:10:39 +0000 Claycat 2736@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ It's interesting to read this. I wonder if any of us knew who we really were when we were very young. I look back now and wonder what I was thinking! Yes, we bring a lot of stuff forward and later wonder why. I think it takes awhile to become self-aware. Maybe some people never get there.