finney1 The community for people interested in home and office organizing. en-US Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:24:13 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://unclutterer.com/discuss/search.php http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear/page/2#post-9083 Sun, 08 Aug 2010 08:36:58 +0000 Cathy11 9083@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>HI there!<br /> I am a newbie here and hope it is ok to jump right in! Actually as a reforming packrat, I share your dread!But i am learning to distance myself from my emotions when it comes to decluttering and to put down, onpaper, what my goals are, such as (for example) clear out stroage areas so as to save 40 Euro a month in storage rent. Having reasons such as being able to save money that can be spent on (for example) new glasses, which I need, makes the changes easier I find. Let me know what you think! Cathy11 </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-9072 Sat, 07 Aug 2010 20:35:30 +0000 Claycat 9072@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I know Rosa! You are so right; it never truly gets over. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-9069 Sat, 07 Aug 2010 20:21:34 +0000 Rosa 9069@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>Like a lot of things, the anxiety beforehand is way worse than the actually doing it. Like visiting my relatives, actually :)</p> <p>I'm on year...5? 6? of decluttering. It's never going to get over. But it gets easier and easier. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-9065 Sat, 07 Aug 2010 18:36:03 +0000 SunshineR 9065@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>no chairs at all....whew! Definitely keeping my comfy computer chair. It's more comfortable than all of my living room chairs. Hmmmmm....... </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-9039 Sat, 07 Aug 2010 09:08:06 +0000 Claycat 9039@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>Actually, I will eventually be buying some more furniture myself. Furniture is not my clutter. LOL </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-9029 Sat, 07 Aug 2010 00:10:40 +0000 bandicoot 9029@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>@irishbell, yes, they sat on the floor.<br /> ok if you replace chairs with beautiful big comfy cushions, but i have a feeling that was not the case.</p> <p>i want an uncluttered minimal look, but i need it to be comfortable and beautiful also.<br /> throwing out the bed or the chairs seems crazy to me. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-9026 Fri, 06 Aug 2010 23:54:11 +0000 Jillian 9026@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>Strangely enough, when I was uncluttering my room, wardrobe, and possessions in general, my boyfriend was more distressed than I was. We've been together for a little over a year, and are pretty much inseparable. Every time I would put a piece of clothing or an object into the "donate" pile, a look of slight disdain would come over his face. Eventually I asked him what was wrong. As it turned out, he was afraid that if I got rid of my possessions, then I would be getting rid of parts of myself as well. He was scared that since I was growing out of all of these things, that I would "outgrow" him as well. I never realized just how much our things can embody us until that moment. I had to keep reassuring him throughout the whole process but after the uncluttering was all said and done, he realized how much happier I was, and understood why I did it. Needless to say, we're even happier now than before. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-9023 Fri, 06 Aug 2010 22:17:55 +0000 irishbell 9023@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>The only thing I've ever had any anxiety about uncluttering was old photos of my kids. I thought, how can throw away this beautiful face?? I managed to keep the best and am totally happy with what I did. I had very little attachment to much else that I ever got rid of. I also cannot remember wishing I had kept something I got rid of.If I can't use it in my home now, why have it?<br /> bandicoot: I believe we read the same blog or whatever it was about the woman who got rid of her chairs. She said they sit on the floor. Honestly, this does not sound like the way to live at all. I know different strokes for different folks, but that is just taking things too far! </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-9013 Fri, 06 Aug 2010 17:42:23 +0000 Claycat 9013@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>Wow, needtocleanhouse, I'm glad you dug this one up! I had not seen this before. I'm afraid this may be one of my biggest problems. Klyla, I am very indecisive and worried about the mistakes, too, because I have made too many before. It almost paralyzes you, doesn't it? I think that's where my anxiety lies. </p> <p>Now, the fear... That's the worst thing. Once I get everything taken care of, then what. There are so many things I feel that I want to do, but I spend a lot of time in avoidance. </p> <p>Also, when I finally get this house fixed up, we have to sell it, because it is my MIL's house. We are having money problems ourselves, so I don't know where we will be able to live once this is sold. I guess that's my greatest fear! </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-9008 Fri, 06 Aug 2010 15:57:43 +0000 bandicoot 9008@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>OC spartanism doesn't sound like much fun either!<br /> i read something here months ago about a woman who had decluttered ... and then gotten rid of her chairs.<br /> no chairs!<br /> what's that all about? </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-9005 Fri, 06 Aug 2010 15:24:14 +0000 jbeany 9005@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>Someone on the Hoarders board said the opposite of hoarding is called obsessive compulsive spartanism. Those suffering get rid of everything, including things they do need and use. </p> <p>Never going to be my diagnosis. Working hard to make sure "hoarder" doesn't ever fit, either. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-9003 Fri, 06 Aug 2010 15:18:21 +0000 themusiclivez 9003@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>Any anxiety that I felt was from the thought that I might keep uncluttering until there was nothing left! I was afraid of becoming the exact opposite of a hoarder. </p> <p>However, I have since realized that I just want to keep what I love. And I don't need to love everything. That eased the anxiety! My anxiety now just stems from finding homes for the things I no longer want! </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-9001 Fri, 06 Aug 2010 14:33:25 +0000 glassrose 9001@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I find that the more I declutter, the freer I feel.</p> <p>I am not striving for a minimalist life - I am aiming for enough. Enough, not too little, not too much. Too little and I will overfill it, too much and it weighs me down. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-9000 Fri, 06 Aug 2010 14:30:43 +0000 bandicoot 9000@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>the only anxiety i feel, is when i see clutter.<br /> getting rid of the clutter causes me no anxiety at all.<br /> this is something i have worked at and grown into ... fifteen years ago i would have been frantically clutching my stuff and feeling distress at the thought of losing it. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-8996 Fri, 06 Aug 2010 12:18:23 +0000 Alana-in-Canada 8996@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I have been tossing things for a long time. It is an on-going process. It will never end. What's left--among the things I don't use everyday--are things with a great deal of sentimental value. My kids' artwork (which they are still creating) their schoolwork, music books. I have books and books: lots waiting to be taken to be sold and donated, too! (I don't have a vehicle. Things like boxes of books stay a while before I can get them out!) But these things are hard for two reasons:</p> <p>1) I do not know how to decide their worth to me. I have no idea how much and what of the children's artwork I should keep and </p> <p>2 )to me, the volume of it is overwhelming. It's neatly stacked in banker's boxes, so I thought it wasn't a problem: but, really it is. The basement is beginning to fill up and I need to deal with these things. </p> <p>There's a third reason, too. Do this long enough and there will be things you wished you hadn't tossed. 90%--no, glad it's gone, can't even remember it. But that 10%? And I don't always know exactly which is which. So, long answer short, anxiety? yep. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-8986 Fri, 06 Aug 2010 08:40:05 +0000 Anita 8986@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I don't really get anxious about things I'm getting rid of, mainly because I have to be convinced I can get rid of something before I'll let it go.</p> <p>What does make me anxious sometimes is looking around and seeing too much stuff, but not seeing anything I can toss. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-8962 Fri, 06 Aug 2010 00:02:24 +0000 Klyla 8962@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I am a very indecisive person in general and genuinely fear making "mistakes" so this is an issue for me. One thing I do is think through the possible outcome and ask myself how I will feel without it.</p> <p>For example, for years I've stored a 15" tall martini glass that we received as a gift filled with chocolates. I thought it would make a fabulous centerpiece for a New Year's Eve party....the party I hoped every year to have time for but always ran out of energy by Christmas to do another thing.</p> <p>As I was cleaning the closet last week where this was stored I once again struggled with the urge to keep it for the "someday" party I will finally get around to having. Then I asked myself "who am I?" The REAL answer is that 1)I don't even LIKE to have parties, and 2)The closet real estate is more important to me than the glass. In the donate box it went! </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-8944 Thu, 05 Aug 2010 15:07:40 +0000 jbeany 8944@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I think I've already jumped that mental "but I might need it" hurdle that causes the most anxiety. I'm long past "But it was a gift" and beyond "I spent good money on that." I know it won't feel empty -I've still got too much stuff for that. I'm more worried it won't be empty enough. I'm fighting years of practice at being a pack rat. Mostly, every bag or box that goes OUT makes me feel lighter and happier. I know there's a point where that will stop - where I've gotten to some balance of too much and not enough. I worry more that the "not enough" feeling will override my common sense about things like clothes and jewelry, even when I already have the right amount or more of everything. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/getting-past-anxietyfear#post-8941 Thu, 05 Aug 2010 14:31:54 +0000 needtocleanhouse 8941@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I thought I'd look back to the first page of postings and this is a thread I found posted 8 months ago with only 2 posts. I thought it raises pretty important topics: fear, anxiety, regret, emptiness.</p> <p>Although I don't see CW or finney1 postings recently, thank you for raising these issues. I suspect they exist a lot when it comes to clutter and deciding what to keep, toss, or give away.</p> <p>I know for myself the decisions get easier and easier the more I declutter; and things I would have kept before I now can easily toss or give away.</p> <p>Anyone have something to add? </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/clutter-of-writing-things-down/page/2#post-4069 Sat, 27 Mar 2010 22:58:16 +0000 nadira 4069@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>@brw - I know EXACTLY what you mean!!! I have wandered through Office Max, Staples, etc., etc. looking for the perfect notebook, pen, agenda planner, etc. *My pulse quickens and my heart beats faster in stationery and office supply stores...* I'm a history person, so I get a kick out of making timelines, one for different periods of music in europe, Latin American history, etc... So I need different color pens for different countries. And the paper has to be high enough quality so that the color doesn't run through...<br /> Anyway, I've found that binders work really well for a number of things. My history notes go in different color binders, depending on the period/continent. I keep a hole punch on the desk, and use pads of narrow ruled 20 lb. paper for notes. Then they go in the binder before the next class (so that papers don't fall all over the floor if I drop the folder they are in :-P</p> <p>I use a 3 3/4" x 6 3/4" notebook for my agenda planner. I can keep current calendars in there, regardless of whether I currently think I need daily/weekly pages, but I always use monthlies.</p> <p>I then have separate sections to note different types of information: shopping lists, menu plans, and the infamous 'to do'</p> <p>I've also read GTD, but I've put my different lists in different size notebooks, and depending on whether it is for home, or outside home.<br /> So, I think the best I've come up with yet is to write on the top of each page in my 'to do' section: Errands, Calls, Home (cleaning/fixing/mending), 'At Computer', and 'At Desk' (answering mail/filing/writing).</p> <p>I've started carrying a small moleskin notebook to write down what I eat, exercise, time of meds, etc.<br /> I also have a 5 x 7 journal where I write down lots of other stuff.</p> <p>I keep thinking that I really could put everything in one notebook (my agenda planner) but then I can't carry it around everywhere, because it has everything in it :-P</p> <p>I also got a blackberry a couple of months ago. I can use that when I'm lying down (pens aren't as forgiving), so I also write to dos &amp; to buys in there, with the intention of rewriting them, with varying degrees of success. Also calendar items, because it has the reminder functions. :)</p> <p>The thing that comes in the handiest on my BB is the memo. I can put in all kinds of random information, because I can search a word anywhere in the title.</p> <p>But I have to say that any system, no matter what one uses, will work only if one actually LOOKS AT IT! And that's the part I'm working on now...</p> <p>Nadira </p>