http://unclutterer.com/discuss/forum/sentimental-clutter The community for people interested in home and office organizing. en-US Mon, 13 Feb 2012 23:16:02 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://unclutterer.com/discuss/search.php http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/on-uncluttering-fear#post-45744 Sun, 29 Jan 2012 06:41:33 +0000 ninakk 45744@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I was fortunate enough to receive a ticket as Christmas present to the dance cavalcade at the Finnish National Ballet celebrating its 90-year birthday last night. My family and I first ate a lovely meal at one of the restaurants on the other side of the street, then walked to the Opera house (they share one house with the National Opera). I drink very little wine or other beverages containing alcohol these days, so it was a rather mellow mood in which I entered the performance; mellow and surprisingly open. And piece after piece slammed right into the core of my soul for some reason, making the evening an absolute success.</p> <p>I experienced many I'm-up-against-the-wall-of-my-person situations and what I realized was that I'm at a place in my life where I feel self-doubt and fear, and lots of it. 2011 was as many of you know not a very easy year on me, but I've been emotionally paralyzed on some levels for much longer than that. In fact, I think it began way before my depression a few years ago and from what I'm not entirely sure.</p> <p>I used to well in school, never the absolute top grades due to a twist of laziness, but once I was accepted at the university I couldn't do just by paying attention at the lectures anymore; they never covered even closely all the material upon which course examina were based. The subject was never my first choice either, so the motivation to start working through all the chapters and books was down in the basement. And so the down-ward spiral started. Once I was accepted in Denmark, I still flew home for exams every month the first semester, fought with some hated chemistry courses after that and plugged away at the master's thesis while having the worst course of the entire med school to be tested in only a few weeks after handing in the first final version of the thesis; med school in Denmark is five months per semester. After the third semester I was burnt out and that's when the problems became more severe. Luckily I didn't have to do major changes to the thesis and had a few smaller exams left, so I graduated only a bit after the "normal" five years, not bad considering some of those I started studying with hadn't even graduated at that time yet.</p> <p>I still didn't have proper studying methods and had to retake some semesters; over there at that time there was only one exam per semester and if a person flunked, the whole semester had to be repeated. When I started studying there, they didn't even have reexams until half a year later. Insane. On top of this, you weren't assigned a specific group either, but were left to your own accords during the whole retaking, so I became rather isolated; didn't live in a student house anymore at that time. Most of my friends from the student house had graduated and gotten their first jobs, another reason for even further isolation; everyone was extremely busy with not much room to meet over a cup of coffee or something. And I had met my future husband online, but he was in another country so we met very seldom. A weird mix of not knowing what caused what anymore developed from all these aspects of my daily life.</p> <p>I was experiencing a real rut and finally admitted I needed to talk to a psychologists, only when I started therapy they had so many clients that it was impossible to get the free sessions more often than maybe once per two weeks. At home, I did a lot of soul searching on my own, using my time very wisely and exposing myself to entirely new ideas and concepts of life; mindfulness and the sort. It was an overwhelming time for me and then, due to still retaking exams, I moved back home temporarily. Socially and financially it was the best solution, yet something was still in a knot.</p> <p>This is where my realizations as per last night start to hit home. I've admitted openly also before this that I'm scared of certain situation where I'm new at something, a method or concept, and where the unknown is entered. And since I can't know for sure that I will fare in true perfectionist style, I'd rather not try. I think. Last night, they showed sequences of the ballet dancers of various ages being taught new movements etc. and at one point the professionals were taught by a female and a male "guru". The newbie couple were screwing up a sequence so the guru guy stepped in, lifted with complete grace the female newbie up above his shoulders, let her slide down onto the floor in a twist of her entire body with her beginning from feet above head to ending up standing perfectly on the floor. There's always someone who knows more than you and there is grace in knowing how to teach with respect and grace as well as being taught with the same. And I suck at being the one to be taught. I'm scared and I'm building up the fear. Regardless of who is teaching me; myself or someone more experienced. So I procrastinate as a result - first line of self-defence according to my psychologist. And I believe him.</p> <p>I make a distinction between uncluttering and decluttering. I perceive uncluttering as a concept in which a person sort of reverses some process and I need to unclutter fear a bit. I think I as a person may become cocky should I ever manage to unclutter all the fear (and why would it even be beneficial since it appears to also function in self-preservation at other times?), but a tad of fear can work wonders in keeping me humble enough.</p> <p>Last night I kept telling myself I can do it (the project I'm working on this spring), yet there's still quite a bit of the unsure self screaming I'll screw it up again. Apologies for the length of this opening post and finally a question for those wiser than myself: How do you keep fear and self-doubt at bay? My sincerest thanks to anyone who plowed through to this point! </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/your-most-cherished-memories#post-47421 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 11:33:29 +0000 ninakk 47421@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>What do your most cherished memories contain? Stuff of some kind? Or people? Feelings?</p> <p>One of my favourites is sitting at my mom's mom's dining table a day after school. Her and I had just eaten and I had said something she laughed so hard about she lost all her "controlled and cool" lady manners, almost peeing in her pants. Soon thereafter, her Alzheimer began to develop, but when I think of her, this memory is the first to pop into my head, every time. The dining chairs were extremely uncomfortable. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/unclutter-the-regrets-before-dying#post-46360 Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:07:11 +0000 ninakk 46360@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>This is a quite interesting article:</p> <p><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying" rel="nofollow">http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying</a></p> <p>If I have regrets when I die, it would not be of anything else than #4 on the list. My aim is to live life to max, as would every day be the last (without any weird over-the-top behaviour, though). How about you? </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/unguilt-me-please#post-44305 Wed, 18 Jan 2012 05:52:26 +0000 Klyla 44305@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>The amount of storage space in my home is very, very limited. My church has a yearly project of giving toys to children in a lower income school district. Members are asked to save shoe boxes and bring them to the church around the holiday season to be filled with toys.</p> <p>I'd love to hoard boxes all year long for this but I really need the storage space I have for other uses. I feel terrible about throwing out the shoe boxes I have. (Usually I only have about 6-8 boxes by the end of the year.) On the other hand, I feel frustrated about the storage problem if I don't throw them out. SOMEBODY PLEASE tell me it's OK to throw them out!! </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/giving-presents#post-43359 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 14:24:40 +0000 Conny 43359@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>Two years ago i began telling everybody who got a gift from me (for B-day, anniversary, etc) that it is quite OK if they pass it on or give it away. DH says i shouldn't do that, it is not how one gives a present. (we live in central Europe)</p> <p>But i am doing that because i don't want anybody to ever feel obligated to keep something or save it, display it etc because it was me who gave it to them, because that is how i was raised and that kind of obligation should stop. </p> <p>Any opinions? </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/childrens-art#post-57 Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:44:17 +0000 Lynn 57@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>What is the best thing to do with art that my children make? They are almost 3 so its nothing of importance - just blobs of paint and glitter and marker scribbles. My husband wants to keep it but I would love to throw it out. I have heard the suggestion to do a digital scrapbook of it but that seems like a waste of money since their art is really nothing at this point. Any other suggestions? </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/wedding-dress#post-12674 Mon, 04 Oct 2010 21:25:17 +0000 Maggie Sue 12674@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I still have my wedding dress and have been debating on whether or not to keep it. I guess I initially thought that my daughter(s) (had 2 sons) might wear it someday. When I had boys instead of girls, I guess my reasoning was that my daughter-in-law(s) might want to wear it. Well...that's not going to happen either. Now, I find myself thinking...maybe my granddaughter(s) (don't have grandkids yet) will want to wear it on their wedding day. I think that I am just a silly old fool. Maybe I should just take the dress to Goodwill or use the material and make a pillow or lace curtains or something. Right now, it is in a box that collects dust in my closet. Do I have room for it? Yes. Do I have pictures of it? Yes-when I wore it on my wedding day. Can I still fit into it...heck no:) Haha. Has anyone else gotten rid of their wedding dress or contemplated it? What did you do with it? Any regrets? Sentimental clutter is hard for me to deal with. Thanks in advance for your feedback. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/do-you-throw-away-old-photos-of-your-exes#post-41860 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 13:41:27 +0000 ntsing 41860@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>Cleaning out my files I discovered all the old pictures and letters I had saved from my past relationships. I re-read some of them and realized while some remind me of happy times they mostly make me sad again about things I've moved on from. I'm having a hard time convincing myself to part with everything, which is unfortunate since it feels like it's the right thing to do. I suppose I feel like if I'm still hanging on to the past, my heart is not going to be open and ready to move on to future love. </p> <p>Do you keep old photos and letters from your exes or do you throw them out? </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/too-many-momentos#post-39286 Sun, 27 Nov 2011 02:01:28 +0000 judithesl 39286@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I've been able to deal with work-related clutter fairly well but I still have too many momentos (photos,small objects. papers, books, etc) from my years as a wife and mother, despite the fact that the kids are grown and my marriage ended nearly 7 years ago. Now my boyfriend has moved in and all of that clutter is in my home office. Any suggestions? </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/do-you-have-a-collection-that-clutters-know-someone-who-does#post-23521 Mon, 28 Mar 2011 11:22:22 +0000 collectorstv 23521@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>Hey everybody. I'm perusing the forum, looking for people who might want to do my television series. It's with a national cable network, I'm casting out of New York City, but the show is national - so anyone from anywhere can submit. Also, everyone asks - no, this is not 'Hoarders'. Here's a better description of the show:</p> <p>A NATIONAL CABLE NETWORK IS LOOKING FOR PEOPLE WITH MASSIVE COLLECTIONS WHO WANT TO GET THEIR SPACE BACK! </p> <p>Do you have a huge collection that is taking over your house or apartment? Wish you could just stop collecting and have a fresh start? </p> <p>We'll bring in an appraiser to assess your treasures -- in addition to a trained professional to help you clear it all out -- to de-clutter! Share your story with the world - let us help you so that your televised story will help others! Please reply with a short description of your story to this posting or <a href="mailto:reality212@gmail.com">reality212@gmail.com</a>. We're here to help! </p> <p>That's it, folks. I thought - who better to approach than people who are threading about clutter, how to clear it, or how to help others with their savvy de-clutter knowledge. Feel free to reply to the email above with a description of your situation and what city/state you live in.</p> <p>Looking forward to reading your submission! Cheers. Elizabeth </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/christmas-gift-clutter-guilt#post-945 Sun, 27 Dec 2009 04:42:10 +0000 blueskies 945@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I'm having a hard time with Christmas this year.</p> <p>As a quick background, my parents are not necessarily hoarders, but they are very, very attached to their stuff, particularly sentimental items. Their home is and always has been crammed to the rafters with things - you don't just blindly open a cabinet or closet, because items will fall on you from the overflowing shelves. My parents have never understood that I do not feel the same way about objects (even as a child, I always tried to give things away because I felt like all my toys were just too much to handle). To say that I didn't want something anymore always hurt them deeply, as if I had said I didn't want their love or something...so I learned to pretend I felt comfortable in the messiness and clutter of their home in an effort to keep them from feeling hurt.</p> <p>Christmas has always been a huge deal for my parents. I know both of them grew up in pretty rotten environments, and so giving me and my brother a special holiday time was, and still is, very important to them. When I say huge deal, I mean the works - a house crammed full of decorations on every surface, dozens of holiday-themed family activities and mountains of gifts on Christmas mornings. </p> <p>I have many lovely memories of these efforts, and am very grateful for them. I know there are many children that are not as fortunate as I have been to have parents who care so much about making Christmas a special and memorable time of the year.</p> <p>At the same time, I've always had this sort of unsettling, overwhelmed feeling during and after the holidays. As a kid, I loved the act of opening presents but soon felt upset and anxious about having to try to find places to put all the new stuff. As an adult, I have come to dread the holidays because I know it will mean more new sentimental gift clutter...and more guilt (how can I be so ungrateful!?) and stress because of it.</p> <p>I don't mean to ramble on here or sound like a jerk. Uncluttering and simplifying my life has has become a really important path for me in the last year. It's been a wonderful healing journey in a lot of ways. I don't want to let go of that. But tonight I am staring down a new mountain of gifts (there are 39 individual presents from my parents alone, many of them handmade unitaskers). With three or four exceptions, I don't have a need or place for any of these things...as in I don't want them in my life...and that makes me feel terrible. But I know from experience that in the coming year my mother will ask me repeatedly about these gifts (Why am I not using [insert object]? Why isn't [insert object] displayed? I spent hours making [insert object] and I can't believe you don't like it!) and will be very hurt if I get rid of any of them.</p> <p>I've tried approaching the subject tactfully (like "I'm simplifying my life and would love gifts that are consumable or experential") and even more forcefully ("Please, I don't want ANYTHING - donate all the money to charity instead!"). Nothing seems to help the situation. Does anyone have any ideas? </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/decluttering-christmas#post-14509 Fri, 12 Nov 2010 08:06:24 +0000 JuliaJayne 14509@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I just bought a pre-lit artificial 4' Christmas tree to replace the big 7' Christmas tree. I will be going through the ornaments getting rid of the ones that have no meaning, keeping only those that have a history and are special. We will also get rid of the big tree, a tree stand from the days of real trees and other things we don't use. I have been weeding things out for a few years, but this year will be the big purge. I'm tired of the 12 bins of Christmas decorations and am hoping to get the collection down to 4 bins. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/books-and-movies-that-encourage-clutter#post-20278 Mon, 07 Feb 2011 20:27:30 +0000 klutzgrrl 20278@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I just read Erin's blog post about movies with an uncluttering theme or aesthetic, and it made me think of books I've read that actually encourage clutter. There's a few in particular that have really stuck in my mind from childhood. </p> <p>One was 'The House at World's End' by Monica Dickens - a wonderful book - but one character, a boy, was always able to produce (somewhat miraculously) all sorts of useful objects from the depths of his pockets. For many years I think that character influenced me to have the world's most cluttered handbag! (pocketbook). And there were others whose titles escape me. Journal-keeping characters always made me want to do the same.</p> <p>Many books that anthropomorphise dolls and bears have made it quite difficult for me to throw these objects out! I had a very difficult moment handing over a box (of lovingly dressed) Barbie dolls to the thrift store lady last week asking that she find them a loving home. For goodness sake, they are DOLLS.</p> <p>I wonder, have you read or seen something that has in some way encouraged you to clutter your life with something? </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/what-do-you-do-with-scanned-photos#post-32611 Sun, 21 Aug 2011 15:20:07 +0000 ssimonsez 32611@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I have THOUSANDS of old photos - 40 years worth - in boxes, manila envelopes, etc. Some are organized, most are just thrown in a pile in a box. I'm starting the arduous process of scanning them all - but I'm not sure what I should do after I scan them. I feel bad about throwing them out, but throwing them back in a box seems to somewhat defeat the purpose of scanning. What have people done with their old photos or memorabilia that they scan? Any suggestions for me? Thanks! </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/photo-scanning-services#post-527 Wed, 02 Dec 2009 14:57:20 +0000 toberead 527@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I've "intended" to scan my family photos for a long time, but realistically, I don't think I'll ever do it. There are just too many. In six years, I've done 3 albums (out of about 25). I've read about services where you send in all your photos and they scan them for you. Has anyone used them? It makes me nervous to think of sending the only copies of my photos through the mail (I no longer have the negatives) but perhaps it's a risk worth taking? </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/elderly-mother-moving-in-with-us-how-to-deal-with-her-possessions#post-36229 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 22:11:27 +0000 nana2much 36229@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>We just moved. My husband and I have 3 grown daughters all out on their own now. I babysit one of my grandchildren 2 days a week. We moved into this house in June and just moved my mother, 90 years old, in with us this past week. It took 3 weeks to sort through, pack, donate, sell on Craig's list and just trash some things from her apartment. This is the 3rd time I have moved her, so she is down to the things that really mean something to her. </p> <p>The move was difficult because she had to give up many things, including her organ and some furniture that we just didn't have room for. Now we have boxes and boxes of fragile glass items, many with more than sentimental value. Plus many framed prints, paintings, photos. It is all very over whelming. We haven't found a place for all of our stuff (which we whittled down quite a lot during our move) Now I must find a way to deal with all of this without distressing my mother too much. We are going to try to give some of it to children and grandchildren. But one problem is the younger generations don't really like these decorative things...there are also tons of fancy linens that must be ironed!<br /> I'm sure others have dealt with a similar situation. How did you manage it? </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/uncluttering-pets#post-34418 Thu, 08 Sep 2011 06:14:55 +0000 Parsifal 34418@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>No, not getting rid of kitty (although that would be easy)... I'm talking about how to keep pets from making a mess. We're struggling with 2 older cats in an 850 sq.ft. apartment. We keep the litter box spotless, the food and water bowl stocked, give each cat a special place to be left alone and give them attention daily. No matter what we do, one of them - we suspect which - will sneak into the bedroom if it is left open and urinate (a lot) all over the bed. If we do manage to keep kitty out of the bedroom, the couch is the next target! Any advice about how to keep pets happy in a small space?</p> <p>Yes, we have had both cats checked for health problems and they got a clean bill of health.</p> <p>Edit: Our apartment is a square with a room in each corner - Bathroom, kitchen, den, bedroom. Each area has an entrance to the adjacent ones, and the space between the kitchen and den is open. I suspect the solution will involve uncluttering our own habits so that we're not tempted to go into the bedroom except at night, making it easier to keep shut. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/struggling-with-gifts-from-exes#post-23747 Sat, 02 Apr 2011 00:20:22 +0000 anitamojito 23747@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I am struggling to decide what to do with gifts from my exes. All of the gifts are very thoughtful, and show real understanding of my tastes and interests. The gifts from my ex # 1 are mostly decorative objects (like a beautiful portrait he painted of me) given during happy times, but the relationship ended very, very badly. I stored his gifts and mementos where I don't see them daily. The gifts from my ex # 2, all carefully selected books, just make me miss him when I see them. I should explain both of these relationships ended over 5 years ago (cringe), and none worth noting have developed since. I think my reluctance to part with these items is rooted in my fear that I won't ever have another partner...let alone one who cares enough about me to give me gifts, especially gifts that reflect paying attention to who I am. What do you suggest, Unclutterers? Keep these things as I reminder I have loved before, and may love again? Or chuck them in acceptance of my singledom? Thanks for your thoughts. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/theme-park-ride-photo-display#post-32147 Tue, 16 Aug 2011 08:08:44 +0000 Dilly 32147@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I wonder if any of you can give me any ideas how to display these? My 16 year old son is a roller coaster fanatic, and has lots of ride photos which he would like to frame in some way and display in his bedroom. He has no other artwork in his room, so I am fine with this.</p> <p>We did try buying some clip frames and just arranging the photos in them, but they didn't look that great, to be honest.</p> <p>Does anyone else have any other ideas? I would prefer not to have anything like a pinboard because they get so dusty and tattered-looking.</p> <p>Thanks in advance! </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/the-style-networks-hit-show-%e2%80%98clean-house%e2%80%99-is-now-casting-in-the-ny-tri-state-ar#post-32087 Mon, 15 Aug 2011 13:29:54 +0000 Clean House 32087@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>NOW CASTING!!</p> <p>The Style Network's HIT SHOW ‘Clean House’ is NOW CASTING IN THE NY TRI-STATE AREA families with CLUTTER that NEEDS TO GO!!</p> <p>Do you need help ridding your home of clutter? Are you having a hard time letting go of stuff you don’t need? Do you love collecting things? Is your house in dire need of a makeover? If AT LEAST 3 ROOMS IN YOUR HOUSE ARE MESSY, then you need CLEAN HOUSE!!</p> <p>If you OWN or RENT an APARTMENT or HOME with at least 2 adults that live in your home, then please e-mail the following information to us!</p> <p>1. Names &amp; relationships of EVERYONE living in the house.</p> <p>2. Address, phone number(s), e-mail</p> <p>3. Photos or video of all your cluttered rooms.</p> <p>4. Tell us about yourself and why you and your family need CLEAN HOUSE!!!</p> <p>5. Do you own or rent your house?</p> <p>For prompt attention, please answer ALL of the above questions!!</p> <p>Email us at: <a href="mailto:nycleanhousecasting@gmail.com">nycleanhousecasting@gmail.com</a> </p>