http://unclutterer.com/discuss/forum/sentimental-clutter The community for people interested in home and office organizing. en-US Mon, 13 Feb 2012 19:48:04 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://unclutterer.com/discuss/search.php http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/on-uncluttering-fear/page/2#post-47766 Mon, 13 Feb 2012 11:57:37 +0000 mskris 47766@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>MTNgirl: I just had the very same type of experience at work. No matter what I did right (big things), I was criticised for every little thing that went wrong (or even if it wasn't perfect). It really began to affect my self-esteem and then the self-preservation kicked in. Sure I was afraid - afraid of not finding another job, afraid I won't do well in the new job, but then I thought - ANYTHING is better than sitting here and continuing to be a victim. First I started grad school, hoping that I'd be able to shift to another dept. Then the negative feedback was documented, so that idea was shot. I'm still in grad school, (yes, I'm afraid to be back in school after 25 yrs), but I found another job. I start next week and I'm relieved and invigorated. I can't sit back and not take action - no matter how fearful I am, the status quo is worse! </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/your-most-cherished-memories#post-47758 Mon, 13 Feb 2012 10:58:13 +0000 mskris 47758@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>My most cherished and often recalled memories involve my family and friends in the house and town where I lived from birth to age 16. While I have other memories of college and marriage and of course, my children's births and infancies, I can honestly say that most of my memories focus on that place and during that time. Even most of my dreams are set in/around that house! My dad spent nearly all his free time working on the house and enlarging/improving it. I felt so secure and loved there. As the youngest in a family with a large age-spread, that's the time when we were all together most often. when we left there (my dad retired and my parents and I moved to FL), everything changed dramatically and I never felt quite the same.... I only hope my own children have the types of memories I do about their childhoods and home. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/your-most-cherished-memories#post-47676 Sun, 12 Feb 2012 10:18:22 +0000 Conny 47676@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>Aside from the many wonderful family events, including all those lovely baby and toddler cuddles there is one memory that stands out for some odd reason: a memory cherished, having to do with the kindness of strangers:</p> <p>about 40 years ago, after the car i was in flipped over and we somehow got out pretty much unscathed (i was not driving) a policeman who helped all four of us girls crawl out, sat on the curb with us holding us for several minutes as we sobbed and said to us, "it was OK to cry, it was a scary thing what had just happened, that all the bruises we had would heal... etc etc" until my friends' mothers came to take us all home.</p> <p>I wonder if they tell police people nowadays not to get close (physically)to accident victims anymore, for i rarely hear of such stories anymore. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/your-most-cherished-memories#post-47626 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 22:08:52 +0000 Rosa 47626@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>I can't really call up specific memories without an outside trigger - a photograph, a story, a smell. So it's hard for me to call up specific things.</p> <p>We were talking the other night about how many fewer people smoke now than when we were kids, and so the smell of cigarette smoke makes us think of family gatherings at our grandparents houses. I've never smoked really - a few cigarettes a weekend in college - but I associate specific brands and kinds of cigarette smoke with specific parts of my life, whatever my grandparents smoked when I was a kid (Kools, I think), and one specific person in my young-adult years smoked Camels, and one place I worked always smelled like open chewing tobacco tins. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/your-most-cherished-memories#post-47573 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 13:27:27 +0000 djk 47573@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>Anotherdeb (I am also a Deb, although some call me DJ) this image is also much part of what I myself view as an ideal marriage! The guy couldn't organize a piss-up in his own brewery but he has got everything else going for him;) After a disastrous first marriage I am grateful to be married to him every day. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/your-most-cherished-memories#post-47572 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 13:23:05 +0000 djk 47572@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>liag, certain smells are definite triggers--baking bread (mom baked bread every single day), the smell of rain (Vancouver and the Fraser Valley of British Columbia is climactically a temperate rainforest, and rainrainrain is deeply ingrained in me--automatic peace and relaxation with the sound and smell)</p> <p>Although I am not aurally vigorous...I don't know how else to explain this--I once saw heads explode at a dinner table full of musicians when I said thoughtfully that I didn't really LIKE music--certain music flashes me back. Road trips always had certain music involved, what a friend calls driving music. DH and I always sing Beatles loudly when driving, another girlfriend with whom I who have done a lot of road trips with always had Patsy Cline, Eurythmics, and Aretha Franklin.<br /> BFF and her DH--I associate Big Sugar with them. (anyone here know Big Sugar? LOVE them) An ex-boyfriend (only fun memories, he was a transition guy for me) comes to mind every time I hear De Phazz. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/your-most-cherished-memories#post-47558 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 12:05:21 +0000 candy 47558@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>The sense of smell is very powerful. </p> <p>I remember going back to spend a couple of days in Lausanne, many years after I had moved away. I was walking around, feeling a bit odd and not really able to relate to the place anymore - until I happened to walk into one of the department stores where I used to shop, and the very particular smell of that place hit me and suddenly I felt "at home". I can't really explain the smell, it's odd without being unpleasant, I have no idea where it comes from. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/your-most-cherished-memories#post-47554 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 11:38:55 +0000 Another Deb 47554@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>liag, I had a memory of a smell that I always associated with an aunt. It was a sweet, flowery smell and trying to identify it drove me crazy for years. Finally I stumbled across a candy by the C. Howard company called "Violet Mints" at World Market, they're in a pretty purple paper wrapper, square. That was the smell! I buy several of them when I go to WM and just like having them in my purse or car to recall the memory if my childhood and my lovely aunt.</p> <p>Don't forget the memories of freshly-copied worksheets from the ditto machine!</p> <p>djk, your description of lazing in bed with your DH and DC and doing crossword puzzles has always been my description of my ideal marriage! </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/your-most-cherished-memories#post-47530 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 08:00:44 +0000 liag 47530@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>djk: I love your grammar memories. I wish MORE learned its vs. it's! (Ex-English teacher here).<br /> Sensory groupings--I relate to that. Do you find the sense of smell very strong, memory-wise? I recall the scent of the new textbooks in first grade as the teacher took themout of the carton to disperse and the wonderful smells at the yearly Allentown Fair each fall.<br /> Thank you, djk, for a beautiful and memory-triggering post. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/your-most-cherished-memories#post-47512 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 02:44:46 +0000 djk 47512@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>What a powerful moment Astreja! I can imagine the music swelling around you, being fully in the moment.</p> <p>I tend to remember things in sensory groupings rather than specific moments, except for learning new words or grammar. I can tell you precisely when I learned how to spell "because", (age 5, 1st grade, I was wearing my green and red "stop and go" sneakers with a big L and R on the appropriate foot), when I learned the difference between it's and its (grade 2), when I learned the meaning of discombobulated (age 18, reading the newspaper while I was curling my hair before heading off to a part with my roommates, waiting for our dates to come pick us up)<br /> But mostly my memories are repeated lovely times--like this morning, one of hundreds similar--DH bringing me coffee in bed in the mornings, lounging around weekends in bed reading the papers and doing crosswords together, DC draping herself artistically on the pillows between us, having to be in contact with both of us at the same time or drama will ensue BFF and I hanging out at each<br /> other's places drinking tea while the other cleans or washes dishes or sorts the closet while we chat. Going for long walks with friends on pissy rainy dark evenings, rain drumming on umbrellas, then back to mine to steam in the warmth while drinking pot after pot of tea and putting the world to rights </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/your-most-cherished-memories#post-47508 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 00:55:40 +0000 Astreja 47508@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>My cherished moments seem to involve doing something and feeling my whole life go veering off in a new direction.</p> <p>The one that just came to mind: Last spring I was at a band festival in Pinawa, Manitoba. I had just been with the band for about 10 weeks, so it was all pretty new and scary. We were performing a medley based on Fellowship of the Ring (first LOTR movie), and we hit one particularly beautiful passage near the end. I realized "I'm playing this thing... I'm actually here, playing this song!" Started crying (but still managing to play my clarinet) right then and there. That was the moment I knew this was for the long haul; and yes, I <em>was</em> a performing musician. For real. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/your-most-cherished-memories#post-47495 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:50:58 +0000 Another Deb 47495@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>bandicoot-Your memory of the man on the moon day gave me chill-bumps!</p> <p>It strikes me that memories of a mundane event can stay with you forever when you would never predict it to be so. I have often focused on something precious as it was happening, determined to press the mental "save" button, only to have the scene evaporate forever, yet the dress someone was wearing at a doctor's office has stayed with me. It was the assistant to the optometrist and I was in 5th grade. I tried on my first set of glasses and the bright red geometric print jumped into focus! </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/your-most-cherished-memories#post-47493 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:46:37 +0000 luxcat 47493@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>people, places, smells. all go together for me to make a great catalogue of memories. I've had the proverbial "interesting" life, but I still would not change a moment of it. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/your-most-cherished-memories#post-47485 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:27:48 +0000 bandicoot 47485@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>i have led a life crowded with incident ( to quote dear oscar) and i have many many cherished memories of people, places, events, activities.<br /> some of them certainly involve stuff: my first car. my first motorbike.<br /> my first clear memory is of being taken outside one night in my dad's arms and my parents pointing to the moon and telling me that men were walking on it right now.<br /> i was two and half years old, and the significance didn't sink in for years!</p> <p>once when i was in thailand, i took an overnight train from bangkok to chiang mai.<br /> i never sleep well when travelling, and i awoke just before dawn, and looked out the window as the sky lightened.<br /> it was very gently raining, more of a mist really.<br /> the train went past a monastery in the middle of nowhere, and there was an orange-robed monk standing motionless in the garden, with a varnished paper parasol.<br /> he simply stood there peacefully in the mist, meditating i suppose, and in the three seconds he was in my field of vision, he made an indelible mark on my memory.<br /> there was something powerfully peaceful and still and present about him. he radiated serenity and calm.<br /> i will never forget him. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/on-uncluttering-fear/page/2#post-47465 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:57:43 +0000 candy 47465@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>It is far too easy to get stuck in an abusive relationship. I have not been subjected to any physical abuse, but I have been at the receiving end of mental abuse. I am so happy that I had the strength to leave, eventually. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/your-most-cherished-memories#post-47463 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:53:12 +0000 chacha1 47463@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>People and places, like irishbell. Putting together a jigsaw puzzle with my dad &amp; sister &amp; godfather after Thanksgiving dinner, while mom &amp; godmom chat in the den ... that's a good one. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/on-uncluttering-fear/page/2#post-47462 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:51:07 +0000 chacha1 47462@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>@ happymonkey: me too. I gave nine years (and tens of thousands of dollars) to someone who "needed me." Who convinced me I "owed him." He never did start giving back. Felt sooooo good to declutter that. </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/your-most-cherished-memories#post-47446 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:42:30 +0000 lottielot 47446@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>The sweet, funny things my kids used to say. For example, ds1 when he first learnt to talk and crawl would put his arms up and say 'duddle?' when he wanted to be carried around. So adorable. And we still call fish fingers 'ingingie' because ds2 couldn't say it properly. Other than that, family camping holidays, preferably warm and sunny ones :) </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/your-most-cherished-memories#post-47436 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:54:41 +0000 irishbell 47436@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>People and places. In my mind, certain people go with certain places!<br /> too many to share, but always special people! </p> http://unclutterer.com/discuss/topic/on-uncluttering-fear/page/2#post-47432 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:22:18 +0000 happymonkey 47432@http://unclutterer.com/discuss/ <p>Nina, Steve Pavlina's post is exactly what I needed to read today. Thanks for posting that.</p> <p>Regarding your current personal struggle, take some time to really think about where you want to be in five years and the kind of people you see in your life then. I stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship for over twelve years -- in part because I somehow thought if I loved him enough he was going to become a better person, and in part because I felt bad for him because of his own emotional struggles -- and when I finally broke free I was so very sorry that I had chosen to give up so many years of my life. Now I make it a point to surround myself with people who have a positive emotional outlook on life (or who are at least striving to get there). Negativity breeds negativity. You are a very positive person -- don't allow yourself to be dragged down. Off my soapbox now; carry on. </p>